"Walking with Jesus..."

QT and Partner

Luke 11: 8 says:

“I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man’s boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.”

Verse 9 continues with:

“So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

What did I ask? My sabbatical year will end in July and I’m starting to wonder what I should do after that… So today, I boldly asked, (and it is bold coz I struggle with not wanting to seem desperate. Yes, strange that even before God, I’m self conscious.) grappling with obedience and personal desires. The prayer went like:

Dear God, please prepare a good marriage for me. And please let it be soon, I don’t want to wait till I’m 40 to settle down.
Hmm… but of course, let everything be done in perfect timing, according to your beautiful plan.
Oh, please let him be a God-fearing man. But let me also be happy and have fun with him.
But like I’ve said, in your timing God.
Coz I don’t want to end up with a wonderful man only to lose him very early.
(Touchwood!)
And God, remember my list of 10 must-have criteria? Since you said boldly ask, I’m going to ask for those 10.
Then again, who am I to know what’s best? Dear God, please choose the best criteria for me…

My internal dialogue shows how much thoughts within me conflate…

So hard even to pray… I have so much to learn.

posted by cLoUd DriFteD bY @ 10:58 AM